8 Years Later Boyfriend and I Are Still Going Strong

I found Boyfriend on Kijiji. He and his mother were homeless. I was just looking for a new dresser and some nightstands, but I decided to respond anyway, things seemed desperate. I took them both in. His mother moved out a few months later. Shacked up with some senior down the street and acted like she didn’t even know me after that. But Boyfriend and I are still going strong 8 years later. He is an absolute jerk sometimes – but I love him anyway. Boyfriend…. is my cat.

Boyfriend’s stunning. All the ladies love him. He has gorgeous, sleek jet black hair & dazzling green eyes. And He’s all mine. He’ll slide in close and want to cuddle. He’ll roll upside down and demand to be cuddled so hard you can’t possibly resist. And as if to say “Hey Baby, everything’s going to be alright” he’ll reach out and always have to touch me when we are on the couch together. But it wasn’t always this way.

When Boyfriend came to live with me I barely seen him. He was traumatized by the move. I would dig him out from his hiding spot and he cried and he cried, rolled over in my arms and wailed. I decided to leave him alone. I worked 12 hr shifts and put in a ton of overtime. He did his thing I did mine. About three months after I got him & his Mother I was cooking bacon and they decided to come join me in the kitchen. I started telling him them that they were ungrateful felines, that I didn’t really feel they were happy living me and I wasn’t the one for them. His mother must have agreed because the first time the door was left slightly ajar she took off. She decided to move into the senior’s building next door. Sometimes I’d see her, but she had no interest in coming home. Boyfriend stuck around though. In fact he’d never even go close to an open door in the beginning. I hadn’t given him his name yet I just referred to him as ‘My Ungrateful Feline”. We coexisted, and rarely saw each other. I knew he was there though. He ate a lot, used the litter box ripped apart my garbage and stole food off my counter I left to thaw. Such a jerk.

My girlfriend Sue and I were on my patio one summer evening having too many drinks, laughing and chatting. The door was open and out popped my ungrateful feline. Silence from us girls, he wandered out a bit further. I said something and he bolted back inside. We laughed. I talked about what a jerk this cat had been and all the chaos and grief I came home to daily while he freeloaded off me. She said “He sounds like a lousy boyfriend” And it stuck. His name was Boyfriend. Eight years later we are still together. He’s more social than he used to be, but that’s how he’s learned to manipulate me and get what he wants. It might not be the healthiest relationship, and we’ve had our share of ups and downs but I love him. And he’s gotten me out of several awkward situations over the years when I’ve been asked “Hey, Do you have a Boyfriend?” and I get to answer – “Yes, yes I do have a Boyfriend, and I really need to get home and get his dinner”. It’s not really a lie now is it folks?? What do you think?

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Who Knew Staying Home Was So Hard?

Who knew staying home was so hard?

I’m struggling. I’m an extrovert. I have delivered balloons and decorated for parties for 20+ years, so I really wouldn’t have had a chance at success if I was introvert. I’m also a ‘city girl’. You could argue that because my city’s population is only 50000, but I can relate more to a city girl than a country girl. I walk or bike often to run my errands, buy my lunch and coffee out. I enjoy walks and activities in nature, as long as I’ve gathered a crowd to join me. And if you still question my city girl status I’ve given myself – well – cows (and rabbits) scare the heck out me. I think I’ve made my point here without discussing my fears and traumas. We will save that for another blog post!
When delivering balloons you have to put yourself out there. Nobody misses the girl with 50 rainbow coloured balloons walking into the conference room filled with 100’s of family and friends. I’ve lived here my entire life and met a ton of people through my business. I’m always busy with social events, have a strong interest in live music, stay active and enjoy socializing daily. I know a lot of people and I pretty much miss them all.
When we were first told to stay home I thought – ok no big deal. We recently purchased a new home and have a ton of renovation projects on the go. I’ll just start working on those. I’ll focus on the scheduling software and putting the policies and procedures manuals together for my partners newly expanded psychotherapy & neurofeedback practice I’m helping him build. I’ll finally bake that Gingerbread loaf recipe I’ve wanted to bake since I read Sarah Ban Breathnach’s ‘Simple Abundance’ 20 years ago. I’ll get up and run on my treadmill, and I’ll do that work out video I ordered. I’ll finish all my homework in the online classes I’m taking way ahead of their due date. Wrong. Boy – was I wrong.
I have done none of the above. Staying at home is hard. I’ve learned I need the pressure, the chaos and the people. I miss chatting with random people I don’t know on my walks. I miss a smile and a wave from a total stranger on the other side of the sidewalk. I miss my lunches with my business friends, craft classes with my girlfriends, popping by friend’s workplaces when I’m in the area. I miss checking in on friends when they are not doing so great or when they are. I miss hitting up events posted in my newsfeed. I miss my patio drinks when it’s still chilly out but – we – don’t – care – because -summers – coming. I miss tall cold draft beer. I miss my favourite bartenders.
This is an honest post. I know and understand how important it is to stay home. I know it will save lives. But life has changed for me, I’m emotional and I’m struggling. My comprehension and concentration skills, organization skills and memory retention are at an all-time low. Who knew staying home was so hard? Are any of you struggling as well? I’m curious to know how other extroverts are feeling and coping through this.

Resources:How To Be Mentally Prepared For A Pandemic https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/417849671680925941/

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Friends I’ve never met

‘Vicky’ and I have been friends for 10 years now. She lives about 2 hours away from me. We have supported each other through losing our fathers, shared online dating stories, and kept each other going by chatting in the middle of the night while we were both working night shift. I’ve watched her children grow older and discover new interests and cheered them on through their accomplishments. My heart is breaking for her right now as she’s working the front lines through this crisis. Her kids were traveling with their father and have been away and then in isolation. Her heart aches to see them, she’s scared to expose them since she continues to work. My heart aches for them too, and I’m scared for them as well.

 

‘Rhonda’ and I have been friends for 3 years. She has a great sense of humour, a strong faith, & loves her family. She has the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. I enjoy her posts on Facebook, we chat sometimes through messenger and she’s always positive and fun to talk to. She lives in Alabama. We are a lot alike but we get a kick out of the differences between Canadians & Americans. We often laugh at our differences and our similarities. She’s nick named me ‘Sweet G.’ I think she’s a smart, kind, funny woman and I’m so glad we are friends.

 

I consider them to be some of my dearest friends, and I can’t imagine not having them in my life. I care about them as much as I do my circle of friends I’ve had since high school. Vicky and I became FB friends when I accidentally sent a friend request to 10 years ago when I was looking for my (other) friend Vicky. I explained the mix up and she politely left me on

her friends list. And Rhonda and I became FB friends when her hilarious video she shared went viral. Somehow some people who viewed the video automatically sent her a friend request. When I asked her how we knew each other, she explained she had gotten dozens of friend requests since the video went viral. She said I was the only one that ‘looked safe to add’. She assured me she was harmless and we have been dear friends ever since.

 

I’ve never met either of these women. I think the universe sometimes connects you with people you need in your life… or in this case Facebook did! I’m lucky to call them friends. Do you have people on your list you’ve never met, but would consider dear friends?

 

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Are These Really My People?

I love Facebook. I mean loooove Facebook. Or at least I used to. I love the kids first day back at school pictures and the parents ‘Lunch Count Down’ near the end of the school year. I love the perfect overloaded Christmas tree pictures late on Christmas Eve, and the 5 am living room destroyed pictures on Christmas day. I love hearing the engagements, the new baby posts, and the birthday celebrations. I am grateful to be able to reach out to my friends in their time of need and support them when they receive bad news, lose a friend, a loved one or are struggling. I love to see their posts remembering loved ones, or of the wicked meal they’re about to eat or the new tires they just got for their car. Seriously –I do. These are my people. I know what it’s like to get new tires or be stoked about a steak I am about to devour. Posts like these don’t irritate me like they do others. I love and encourage them. If we are Facebook friends post away! I’ve always felt it’s your Facebook page – post what you wish. I get a lot of joy from others joy, and a good feeling from providing support to others when they need it.

However recently my Facebook feed has had me questioning how I feel about some of the people on my Facebook list I’ve followed for years. People I call friends not just on Facebook but people I choose to spend time with. My people. And it’s been heartbreaking for me at times. I understand we all have different opinions on matters and I can usually agree to disagree. But lately it’s become much more than a simple difference of opinion.

It started with the Don Cherry ‘You people’ debate. People I love to follow began posting negative hurtful statements on how they stood on the matter. I was shocked more than once on comments others made supporting something that I felt was offensive. Then it continued with the Wet’suwet’en First Nation pipeline protest and the train blockades. I was shocked to see my friend’s comments of racial slurs and outright threats. I was devastated by the cruelty. Now we are mid pandemic with Covid 19 health scare and I’m seeing people not taking it seriously. They are putting others at risk with their apathy and I’m concerned at the response. It’s once again taking the joy out of Facebook for me. All of these recent issues has me questioning those on my Facebook friends list and asking – Are these really my people?

 

 

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