A friend recently told me of her disappointment in the lack of responses she received from her friends after posting on Facebook that she was looking for assistance to repaint her apartment. Not long after I came across the articles below and this got me thinking about how I approach my social networks, both online and in-person.
Although the first article I’ve referenced is targeting why it’s better to be single, the part that caught my attention was point number 3 which states that single people often have stronger social networks than their married counterparts. At first I found this statement surprising as I assumed that being in a relationship meant you have to juggle two social networks versus just developing your own. However I can see how being in a couple can make it easy to stop socialising. Being either too busy, too tired or just not so inclined become very good reasons to stop going out especially if you are not sitting home alone.
The second article had me taking stock in my online friends trying to determine if, when the chips were down, who was virtual and who was real. Could I name my 4 real friends? Did I have 4 real friends…?? I came to the realisation that the answer wasn’t simple. Friendships definitely evolve as we do by growing up, growing apart and transitioning to networks where you share commonalities (marriage, kids, divorced etc..). And just like a plant, or a child, they will not thrive without the proper attention. But other factors like geography, finances and their own personal situations will also affect someone’s ability to ‘drop everything’ and help you out. So I settled on the conclusion that there are too many external factors for me to properly assess what ‘real’ friendships I have.
Maybe I settled on this because the phone rang (life called and it was time to get ‘back to it’) or as a way of softening the blow to my ego. I’m not sure. But I think these articles serves as a good reminder that, no matter what stage of life we are in, we need to cultivate both our online networks and the in-person networks. Do you have any thoughts on this?