The stories we hear our parents or grandparents tell of romantic meetings and love stories are not something common within our time. Of course, in their time there was also heartbreak, cheating and bad endings too; but it didn’t have the power of social media behind it. Dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and Ashley Madison (to name a few) are all perfect examples of how social interaction online, is teaching our society that sex, love and personal interaction is disposable. They create the notion that within five minutes there is access to twenty more women/men who are DTF (Down to F*ck for anyone who wasn’t sure) or looking for a “relationship”.
Does online dating/social media effect everyone?
My opinion, no it doesn’t happen to be a part of everyones dating stigma. Why? Well not everyone enjoys continually having someone speak to them for 2 weeks, go on a few dates-and then vanish into oblivion with no explanation or inclination; also known as “ghosting”. As a 25 year old who does tend to use social media a lot, I have dabbled in the online dating; as I’m also from a small town, making it difficult to meet people you didn’t go to high school with! My overall experience has been mostly sh*t ,for a lack of a better word. Married men, creepy men, those who have no understanding of social cues and I could truly go on but I won’t.But there has also been people I never would have entertained if it wasn’t for social media.
Though it effects me or did, it surely isn’t an issue for every woman/man; because some people still do prefer the old fashioned way of meeting someone organically. I always enjoy meeting these people because as much as I’d like to be one of them, I do not have the patience to sit at a bar and hope someone comes up to me… or go to a church bbq and be the girl in the cute dress he can’t take his eyes off of. I’m busy, and currently dating is at a back-burner stage in my life, as well as being ghosted… who even decided to come up with a term for that?! I’m curious to know how other students feel on online relationships/dating sites, because it can be a true mess of emotions and time wasting crap-but I’m sure also good things have come from it too.
Who is to blame?
Do we blame the creators of these apps? Ourselves? Our society? Without true investigation and knowledge it’s hard to know who started the overwhelming addiction of online dating. Evolving from an online chat group into swiping right to tell someone you’re interested-based on a pun filled quote and a picture of him with his dog?! What… happened to us. I blame the creators partly for playing science lab on our human psyche- but also us for allowing ourselves to let a guy who quotes “#wastehertime/girls quoting #wastehistime… get us so interested. I’m not saying we knew this would happen or that we consciously make these decisions to swipe right; but at some point we are humans and we can make the choice to turn the tables. Check out this piece relating to the controversy over who is to blame-https://theconversation.com/dont-blame-dating-apps-for-your-terrible-love-life-132935, they discuss not blaming the apps but more so changing the way we socialize; and learning to adapt to that.
So the be all, end all question… Is it worth it? To me, yes and no…I have met a lot of people I probably never would have met otherwise in my life. Though they may not have become boyfriends or the “one”, they still hold a special spot in my mind and heart. The only negative aspect I really could do without is people using these dating resources as a sex tool. We’re all human, we all need it or want it; but also being able to have a normal day to day conversation would also be satisfactory. Unsolicited nudes can take a backseat please!
Below, I linked a video from Joe Santagato a YouTube all star- regarding online dating profiles, that really made me laugh(warning there is some explicit language!). In the comments share YOUR online dating stories, or experiences with us!
“Social Media & Relationships-Is it worth it?” Check out my new blog @ https://bit.ly/33uHN4q