Having it all together or barely holding together?

Being in my mid twenties I am finding my friends and I are at a weird place in our lives. Half of us have it all together. Every time I log in to my social media someone else getting married, having babies, starting out their careers, knowing exactly what they want in life. Than there is the other half, who are normally to drunk to remember where they last put their phone.


Source: @scousebird via Twitter

With the increased popularity of all forms of social media, knowing everything your friends are up to is only a click away. Its hard not to compare what you are doing with what everyone you know is doing.


I have never really felt like I had it all together. I never new what I wanted in life. I look at these friends and think when did you decide what you wanted? I keep being asked “when are you going to get married?”, “when are you going to start having babies?”. Since when did society decide at what age you are suppose to be doing all of this? I can barely make ends meet how am I suppose to afford taking care of someone else? Eventually you start to feel the pressure that you aren’t doing enough with your life. Even parents are say ” well why aren’t you doing what __________ is doing?”

In high school you are suppose to be able to decide what career you want. The courses you take in high school dictate what options you have for courses you can take in college/university. That’s a lot of pressure and decision making to be placing on 16 year old. I think I changed my mind on a career choice at these a dozen times and not one of them is what I ultimately decided to do. Kids are taught that they are suppose to go to school, get married and have kids. That’s the way you live your life. But why should they be taught there is only one “right” way to live? Now a days you ultimately don’t even need to attend college/university to get a solid career.  In this article on Huffington Post they talk about some real reasons you don’t need schooling.

This year I learned to let go of all the pressure I put on myself and what I felt being placed on me. I learned to ignore what society is saying I should be doing at my age. It has made making decisions about my life that much easier when I don’t care if someone approves of my choices. Have you felt pressure from society or any one that you should be further along in your life?

facebook: Having it together or barely holding together?

twttr: #letthekidsbe

6 thoughts on “Having it all together or barely holding together?

  1. Good points Lyndsay! I can certainly relate to the pressures to live your life a certain way – pick a career and study in university/college to get a good job, then get married, buy a house, have babies… (blah blah blah!) – and have had my own share of evolving career dreams. I’m attempting to find the balance between focusing on my skills and passions and setting goals without putting unwanted pressure or unrealistic deadlines upon myself.
    I’m slowly realizing we have more control than we think!

  2. School is only good for getting your name on a piece of paper so you look appealing to employers. I say the hiring system should be if they say they can do it, then let them try the job out for two weeks. If they cant do the job, don’t hire. But if you like what they are doing and getting the job done. Who cares what piece of paper has their name on it.

  3. As a mom of a 21 and 16 year old, I really believe that neither one of my kids will have a life long job at one company. The one thing I encourage them to do is to travel. School will always be there when you decide what will make you happy. Maybe no school at all? I’m 52 and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up!! I think the old fashioned process of school/marriage/family is a thing of the past. If there is one thing I have learned, it’s to do what makes ME happy. Stop trying to please everyone because it’s an impossible task and you’ll go mad trying. Good for you for figuring it out!!

  4. I’m feeling that way right now! Trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and creating a plan (that rarely works out the way you want it). I’m also at the age where people are starting to get married and have kids and I can barely take care of myself properly. The thought of having a child freaks me out to no end. Everyone moves at their own pace!

  5. Great article, lots to chew on here.

    Personally I think everyone has a TIME, and it maybe young or old. You have to find your own speed. I was a Manager of a large life insurance office with a staff of 30 when I was just 25 years old, a Director of a larger company by age 35. I didn’t get married until 40 and had my kids at 40 and 41; and then promptly quit my career to stay home.

    Now at 54, I haven’t got a freakin’ clue what to do with the rest of my life, or how to launch yet another career now that my kids are teenagers. Sadly, I have just come to the painful realization that moving back into my parents’ basement is no longer an option for me, and the guidance counsellor from my old high school clearly isn’t going to call me back. LOL

    Life comes in waves, it is up to you when you’re ready to surf.

  6. Do your own thing on your own timeline. I’ve changed careers 4 times over the years and still not sure I’m where I need to be. I was engaged at 21 but got married at 51 to someone totally different. So I’m sure that I didnt fall into that category of having it all together. You’ll know what is right for you when it is right for you.

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