The Down Side of Online Dating: 3 Things That Do Happen

 

online-dating-570216_1280As a single millenial, I have spent my fair amount of time perusing the various online dating sites and apps available. I have encountered some nice and decent people and others who, well, I wouldn’t want to come across again.

These aren’t experiences from just one site. I have spent time on eHarmony (paid membership,) Tinder, OkCupid, POF, Zoosk, Match along with a few others. Many of my friends are also registered to some of these services and have had other experiences, some better, some worse. However, these are the 3 things I have had happen to me personally and have heard of happening to others the most.

I have to say, while all these sites do offer different services and have different people registered, I would generally get bored with one and move on to another.

Catfish

Let’s start with catfishing (and no, not the one that swims.) Catfish, in this instance refers to someone pretending to be someone they aren’t online.

channel-catfish-86584_1920Yes, it is real, and not just on TV like the popular show Catfish. I had it happen once, that I made plans to meet with someone I had been chatting with online for a while. I made my way to the meeting place to find out the person wasn’t who I thought I had been talking too. He had used pictures of one of his friends and lied about most his interests. Needless to say I ran out of there pretty quickly.

As you can tell, the catfish isn’t exactly the most attractive creature on the planet. (Urk!)

Ghosts

Have you ever started to see someone and take a bit of a liking to them only to have them completely stop responding to you without any rhyme of reason that you know of? It is quite common. Ghosting is something that has happened to me, my friends and I am not proud to admit, but I have done it before too. I don’t want to excuse the act, but usually if I stop talking to someone it’s because something about the way they talk gives me the creeps.

spirit-1775547_1280

Stood Up

Similar to ghosting, but this one feels a little more personal. I have arranged to meet someone before but the guy never showed. I waited about a half-hour before he messaged me saying he was stuck at work and couldn’t make it. We arranged a second meeting time and once again he didn’t show, only this time there was no message. When I tried to contact him, I never received a response.

I think I’ll stick to meeting people the old fashioned way from now on, maybe experience a meet-cute like in the movies. 🙂nature-1790142_1920

*All pictures used under the creative commons CC01 License.

Facebook:

Do you ever wonder about online dating? Will you meet the right person, will there be a creep on the other end or will it lead to absolutely nothing? Click here to read about 3 things that can go wrong.online-dating-570216_1280

Twitter:

Online dating woes? Click here to read about common misgivings of the phenomenon. #onlinedating #nope #ghost #catfish #datenight #alone #foreversingle

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4 thoughts on “The Down Side of Online Dating: 3 Things That Do Happen

  1. I hear what you are saying about wanting to give it all up and go with meeting people the old fashioned way. Sometimes it just seems so exhaustive and the same rollercoaster time after time.
    With that being said, I’ve been guilty of ghosting myself, sorry to say. But, like you, it’s about losing connection or interest, and it’s so easy to do online.

  2. I was just responding on another blog about cyber bullying and was commenting on how frequently people feel more open to saying or doing hurtful things online because they somehow safe behind a screen. They don’t really have to feel the impact of their words/actions like they would in person. I feel this is very applicable in the online dating world too. I won’t deny that I am guilty of ghosting as well, and I think we do it because we feel we can get away with it and that it saves us from having an awkward conversation. We think we are maybe sparing the other persons feelings, but really we are just being cowardly and hurtful. This would be next to impossible if it was someone you saw in person frequently. Its not like you could just pretend another person in the flesh just ceased to exist. You would be forced to have that uncomfortable chat. Although online dating is an amazing way to meet people when you are a busy professional and living in a big city, I also think it is sometimes desensitizing us to other people feelings and maybe making it too easy to be unkind and inconsiderate of others if we aren’t careful.

  3. Great post! And so true!

    This reminded me of a new dating term I heard recently, “zombie-ing” which is when someone disappears from your life (so ghosts) but then rises from the dead with a random message on social media. I think it’s a pretty appropriate term and I kind of love it!

    Personally, I can understand ghosting on some level – especially as you said if the person is giving you a creepy vibe – but getting stood up in this day and age is beyond ridiculous. Like send a text and then block the person if you don’t want to hear the response! I agree with kinvarlass that some of this is due to never having to be face-to-face (or voice-to-voice on the phone) which allows us to act in more disrespectful ways.

    I personally prefer to meet people IRL but it seems way harder and I wonder if people are becoming less and less confident in the real world. I think people are using online dating more because yes, a lot of people are on the sites now but also because it’s less scary than going up to someone in person.

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