Here I am … but I’m not happy about it

shy

Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s social media shy. And that’s a huge relief. I am not alone.

Being “out there” on social media has long been a struggle for me. For example, despite Facebook offering the perfect platform for sharing the ups and downs of having a new baby with friends and family, when my son was born in 2007 I actively shunned the platform in favour of email. There’s still a folder in my Gmail account labelled “Baby has arrived,” which my husband used to send out an announcement. It has 64 contacts in it. Sixty-four!

And it would be more than two years more before I would join Facebook. I posted twice in 2009, not at all in 2010, and 16 times ins 2011, with the bulk of the posts being news story shares.

Far Behind the Facebook Curve

A Wikipedia entry about the history of Facebook puts the average monthly growth of active users in the early days of the platform at 178.38%. I could have been a part of that. But instead I was so far behind the curve I joined when Facebook’s monthly active user growth averaged just 6.99%.

I’ve posted a lot more on Facebook in more recent years, but even now my posts tend heavily toward sharing news from other sources, not my own.

And it’s not that I’m shy. My friends and family  especially the introverts — will tell you I’m anything but. What it comes down to is that I’m still trying to get over the feeling that I don’t want all my life out there for everyone to know about and comment on.

I suppose I’ve made some peace with Facebook. I feel like I contribute enough to be more than a lurker but — once again far behind the curve  I’m still struggling with Twitter and Instagram, where most of my friends post regularly but I can’t seem to.

Trying to Figure Out Who Cares

My biggest difficulty is trying to figure out who beyond the tight circles of friends and family I interact with off-line cares what I think … or even more so what I drink. In case you’re wondering, I have posted to Instagram once, coffee art, not original, but unthreatening. Like this:

coffee-983955_640

And maybe that’s the answer. I think what makes me uncomfortable is the oversharing on much of social media, Facebook particularly, and that’s tainted my own view of it and comfort with it as a tool for personal connection.

Being OK with Where I’m At

And maybe that’s OK. Maybe just because it feels like everyone else is putting everything out there, doesn’t mean I have to as well. Showing up at a party doesn’t oblige me to tell everyone else there my innermost thoughts, and showing up on social media doesn’t either.

What about you? Do you spill the beans about every aspect of your life on social media, do you keep most of your private life private, or do you fall somewhere in between?

Facebook:

I’m not quick to share much about my personal life on social media, mostly because I’m not sure any beyond my immediate circle is interested. What about you? Are your Facebook feed and your Instagram page full of intimate details about your life or do you hold back when it comes to social media? #notalone #whocareswhatIthink

shy

Twitter:

Discovering I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to spill everything on social was a relief. I don’t struggle alone! #whocareswhatIthink

Photo 1:  courtney guttenberg. Cropped. Licensed under Creative Commons.

Photo 2: Pixabay

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3 thoughts on “Here I am … but I’m not happy about it

  1. Love this blog! I can relate which is funny because I am both with you and completely opposite of you. I struggle with Facebook. I often find myself writing a status and then before hitting send, completely deleting it thinking who the heck cares about what I’m doing later or how I’m feeling…

    But then there’s Instagram. We have a pretty serious relationship lol. I started posting on instagram mostly for my own kind of diary of events. I could store photos and the funny story that went with it so I could look back and enjoy. Then I started trying to lose weight and started following some other people on the same journey and saw they were posting a bunch of sweaty selfies and snaps of their food to stay accountable. I didn’t have many followers but it was less about who was watching and more about a place for me to check in and be accountable. I can look back and see what days I was on track and what days I wasn’t. It’s grown from that…I’ve made legitimate friendships through IG. There’s a group of three of us, one lives in BC and the other in Wisconsin and we chat daily. They’ve become like sisters all because one day we decided to follow one another.

    There are still certain details I choose not to share, but I find Instagram to be a pretty cool place to find likeminded individuals. but it’s definitely not for everyone. Now that I am going to be a mom, I’ve considered making my account private and getting rid of some of the strangers but for the longest time it was exactly what I needed 🙂

  2. Lol! That’s exactly what I do. Write something on Facebook and then think who cares and hit the back button.

    Thanks for sharing your success with Instagram. I think maybe I could get more into it — though I usually think, “Well that’s not a great picture. Who wants to see that?” I love that you’ve used it to make a change in your life, and that it’s been successful.

  3. Great blog. I’m also really shy to post stuff on social media, i mostly post picture of my children so my family members can see them. I hardly have time for it, and i am still learning a lot from it. I enjoyed reading your blog.

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