Going Solo

Last year, when the festival of India was running, I really wanted to attend since I had never been before. I first asked my partner to come with me, but he wasn’t interested in the event. So, I asked all the people that I thought would be interested in the event to come with me. Everyone was busy or out of town.

Later in the day, my partner asked me who I went to the event with and I told him I went alone.

 

“What do you mean you’re going alone?” he said

“Well none of my friends were free, so I went alone” I responded

“Let me come with you then. Are you going to be okay? I don’t want you going by yourself” he insisted

 

Why is it taboo to do things by ourselves? Why did I feel that I had to explain why I went alone?

 

I wanted to go to the event, no one was free to come with me, and so I went alone. I actually quite enjoyed myself; I went to the booths on my own time and I was more immersed in the event because my friends weren’t there to distract me. Yet, after explaining this to my partner he didn’t understand why I chose to go out alone.

Researching this topic comes with an abundance of guides on how to go out alone and responses to people asking if it’s weird to go out alone. It seems that we can’t enjoy doing things alone without questioning if we’ve made the right decision, or wondering whether others are judging us. The idea that others are judging us when we go out alone is probably the largest obstacle between people going out alone in public. But in most cases, I don’t think others notice that you are alone.

“Underlying our inhibitions about being seen out alone, I suspect, is the famous psychological phenomenon known as the spotlight effect, which describes the way we chronically overestimate how much others notice our social faux pas – or indeed notice us at all”

On the other hand most of the articles that I browsed were focused on encouraging people to try going out alone and in that sense, I think we are starting to rethink the entire idea, which is a good thing. I think that company or no company, I would have enjoyed myself at the festival of India, it just would have made for two different experiences.

 

What is your take on solo outings?

Why is going out alone seen as an odd thing to do?

Have you tried going out alone? Was it a challenge for you?

 

 

 

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One thought on “Going Solo

  1. Interesting read! – I think you were right about just going alone given that your partner nor anyone else was free to join you. I think it shows a level of confidence that some people cannot understand. Why wait around for people’s availability to do something you enjoy. I wonder though if you would enjoy it as much if you can’t share you’re on the spot observations with someone – talking to yourself may not be as satisfying. I can relate to this as I did the same when I was 27. In the dead of winter, I was craving a getaway down South but couldn’t find anyone to join me. So I bought an all-inclusive package nevertheless and packed my bikini, books and walkman. Off I went. While it was fun to just do it, it wasn’t as fun and felt a little lonely. Dining alone was the worst for me. While your article mentions that you’re the only one who notices that your dining alone, I’m not sure I felt that way. Maybe I was mature enough. Anyhow, thanks for your blog, it was a good read!

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