Last year, when the festival of India was running, I really wanted to attend since I had never been before. I first asked my partner to come with me, but he wasn’t interested in the event. So, I asked all the people that I thought would be interested in the event to come with me. Everyone was busy or out of town.
Later in the day, my partner asked me who I went to the event with and I told him I went alone.
“What do you mean you’re going alone?” he said
“Well none of my friends were free, so I went alone” I responded
“Let me come with you then. Are you going to be okay? I don’t want you going by yourself” he insisted
Why is it taboo to do things by ourselves? Why did I feel that I had to explain why I went alone?
I wanted to go to the event, no one was free to come with me, and so I went alone. I actually quite enjoyed myself; I went to the booths on my own time and I was more immersed in the event because my friends weren’t there to distract me. Yet, after explaining this to my partner he didn’t understand why I chose to go out alone.
Researching this topic comes with an abundance of guides on how to go out alone and responses to people asking if it’s weird to go out alone. It seems that we can’t enjoy doing things alone without questioning if we’ve made the right decision, or wondering whether others are judging us. The idea that others are judging us when we go out alone is probably the largest obstacle between people going out alone in public. But in most cases, I don’t think others notice that you are alone.
“Underlying our inhibitions about being seen out alone, I suspect, is the famous psychological phenomenon known as the spotlight effect, which describes the way we chronically overestimate how much others notice our social faux pas – or indeed notice us at all”
On the other hand most of the articles that I browsed were focused on encouraging people to try going out alone and in that sense, I think we are starting to rethink the entire idea, which is a good thing. I think that company or no company, I would have enjoyed myself at the festival of India, it just would have made for two different experiences.
What is your take on solo outings?
Why is going out alone seen as an odd thing to do?
Have you tried going out alone? Was it a challenge for you?