The Ups and Downs of My Weightloss Journey

My entire life I have always been a little bit heavier  while all my friends were the “perfect” weight. I didn’t pay too much attention to my weight until I was in middle school. maxresdefaultThen the catty girls and the name calling started. It was horrible. I wouldn’t go to school for days, or I would wear clothes much too large for me. By the time I got to high school I had found my group and things got better for the most part. I started to thin out a little bit and I felt better about myself. Then as my teen years got closer to my 20’s I started to gain weight back again. I was never small in that time period but wasn’t as heavy as I could have been I suppose.

As I progressed into my 20’s I was always around the same weight until my long term boyfriend and I broke up. At the same time we had quite a few family problems going on. Around that time is when I lost a bunch of weight, but it was mostly due to stress. For an entire summer I felt pretty and that guys were actually paying attention to me. It wasn’t the right kind of attention though. After that summer I quit smoking and started to gain some of the weight back. I battled on and off for years with the quitting and starting of smoking and in turn gained more weight back each time I quit. By this point I was at the highest weight I have ever been, but I had no idea. I never felt that big or felt it in my health. It wasn’t until later on and I look at pictures of myself and think I couldn’t believe I was that big.

A little over two years ago I started volunteering at a gym which in turn gave me a free membership. I though “heck ya I’m going to use this all the time”. And I did for a couple months. Eating healthier and working out. Then I quickly got too busy and everything went downhill again, and again, and again. I then realized it’s hard to jump head first into meal planning and going to the gym, especially when you have a schedule like mine. Since then I have joined a nutrition class to work on my eating. I know I can work out, but 70% of weight loss and muscle building is what you put into your body. Although I feel better I still have those moments that I don’t look so great. So I just keep reminding myself that little milestones have been made. Even though I can’t make it to the gym every day I try and do something at home. My meal prepping is on point some weeks, but lacks in desire others, but Pinterest and my Nutrition Coach are amazing resources. There are also lots of other places on the lovely internet that are free for meal planning and at home or in the gym workouts.

My weight-loss is not something I usually discuss with anyone, but I think maybe it’s time I recognize I need to talk about it. I know those little issues we have are not easy to talk about maybe to friends and family, but just remember we are all strangers and we have your back.

Has anyone had similar issues as I have?Do you have something you would like to talk about?

5 thoughts on “The Ups and Downs of My Weightloss Journey

  1. Although I do not suffer from obesity personally, I grew up in a family where the “f” word was not four letters. My parents and most of my siblings have battled with the bulge most of their lives. I have a sister that lost 100 pounds…. twice. Being a physically active person who watches what she eats as she knows the consequences only too well, I sympathize with you and applaud your efforts. I blame society for much of our poor lifestyle habits. Our whole lives (particularly here in Cape Breton) revolves around food and alcohol. Good for you for making another choice. I support you in your efforts and hope that you will find strength to continue with your healthy lifestyle.

  2. Wohoo Stacey, you are going to do great! I know this is the epitome of cliche, but enjoy the journey because weight loss can seem terrible if you do not fall in love or like with the process. I used to be a personal trainer and I would always emphasize the fact that you need to shift your way of thinking. A lot of people go to the gym and their primary objective is – To loose weight. Now, that is a great goal but the problem is what happens when you loose the weigt? I have seen so many people throw in the towel, give themselves a pat on the back, and pick up their old habits. Find forms of physical activity that you actually enjoy doing.Experiment in the kitchen and discover all of the recipes out there that are rammed with nutrients and taste amazing. You seem to be on the right track, Enjoy the ride 🙂

  3. I can say that I understand a part of what you are going through. I suffered from eating disorders for many years. I went from losing a lot of weight and getting all that attractive attention, to becoming so thin people didn’t recognize me and thought I was a little boy. Then, I started gaining tons of weight and not being able to stop. I was scared. People told me that I just had to let it go and that it would naturally balance itself out. Well, at some point I told myself WHATEVER!!! I started embracing that I might be big for the rest of my life. I learned to enjoy physical activity again, doing yoga and downward poses that would push my now large boobs into my face, wearing bras with no need for push-ups ever, eating without fear of losing the flat belly or ab shapes, appreciating all the newly found curves, etc. It felt so liberating to tell myself that I am beautiful whatever I weight and the friends I made loved me for all of what I was. Today, I know I still suffer from body image distortion, meaning that even though I know I am at a healthy stage mentally and physically, I often see myself as big in the mirror. But I have now learned to listen to my body and tell myself that those extra pounds are extra only for those who choose to see them that way. Congrats to you and your journey. It takes courage and you seem to have lots of it!

  4. Hi Stacey:

    Although I’ve never experienced hefty weight gain like some of my closest friends and family…, I’ve gained and lost my share of what my physician referred to as ‘unhealthy’ amounts of weight due to stress, bouts of anxiety or depression and [yes] the ever ubiquitous heartbreak. When you are short [5’1] and shaped the way I am…a couple of inches gained means you suddenly can’t fit into nearly every pair of trousers or jeans you own or the skirts bought for work without feeling and looking distinctly uncomfortable. Conversely, when you lose too much you look like a kid trying to play dress up in her Mommy’s clothes, rather than the professional woman you are.

    The situation becomes even more intractable when you refuse to buy new clothes to fit whatever gain or loss you’re body is now adjusting to, as a means of coercing yourself into better eating habits and patterns of behaviour. The logic is sound, you tell yourself…”after all, I’m not rich and most of the clothes I can’t fit into STILL have TAGS on them…(!). It would be irresponsible to spend money I don’t have when I have a perfectly good wardrobe waiting to be broken in. All I have to do is get it together.” Right? Wrong. This only puts the pressure on and then we end up taking drastic measures to lose or gain which only serves to perpetuate this vicious cycle.

    I can also relate to the challenge of body image distortion and struggling to achieve some kind of work/life balance that allows me to eat well and work out so that I’m strong and energetic enough to keep up with my own busy life and obligations. You’re right, Stacey, it’s not easy trying to make time for yourself. As women, it’s almost second nature for most of us to adopt a highly efficient multi-tasking caregiving role within the confines of our own family and network. But, often we don’t realise we spend so much time caring for and giving to others. investing in the organization we work for or our friends and family, that we’ve unwittingly dropped ourselves to the bottom of the list.

    You sound like a bright, busy hard working woman whose doing her best to strike the right balance for yourself without dropping any of the many balls you have in the air. No easy feat, especially when you add breaking a smoking addiction to the mix. You decided to truly prioritise your own health and well-being and like every other woman I know who attempted the same, got punished for it.I have friends who put on anywhere between 10-15 lbs after quitting. They were demoralized. Some [like you] started up, again just because they were so frustrated they didn’t know what to do anymore. Eventually, they won that battle, but not without a lot of hard work and determination.

    But you seem determined and strong…(!) or you would not be able to share your story. I appreciate your honesty and [from what I’ve read] I’m not the only one. PS: I know Paleo-style eating isn’t for everyone…but most of the stuff on this website goes down real easy and isn’t enormously difficult to shop for or prepare. This type of food is geared towards giving the most bang for your buck nutrition-wise and calorie-wise. The emphasis is on foods that make great fuel and that don’t take a ton of effort to metabolise. Feel free to check it out:http://dailyburn.com/life/recipes/easy-paleo-recipes/ .

    Thanks for sharing, Stacey!

  5. After having my children, my body has changed quite a bit. I’m not overweight, and I am generally happy where I am, but I know I eat too much! Thankfully I’m a fairly healthy eater, but I can really pack the food in, far more than my friends. I know with age my metabolism will start slowing down and I could find myself at an unhealthy weight. I try to make small changes hoping they’ll become routine before it starts to become a problem… it lasts a while and then I get a craving and eat a whole pizza! Why does food have to taste so darn good?!?

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