Comm0011 – Match.com

I have been on Match.com for over a week. My initial impression   ~

‘UGH’

Signing up was quite easy. You can make your profile as elaborate or as minimal as you would like. You have the freedom to upload dozens of photos, write an extensive summary about what you want, who you are, and you can let all of the Match users know what you are ideally looking for. Everything from your income expectations, age range, and height requirements. Love is all about the soul right? haha.

So why was my initial impression ‘Ugh’?

Well, there is a lot of work involved with online dating. I could be way off, but I feel as though women and men have polar opposite experiences on these sites. Within the first day I had an unsettling amount of e-mails, and I thought to myself ‘UGH’ I have a full-time job, two small side businesses, and now I am supposed to sift through these emails and profiles? To this day, I have yet to sit down and look through them all. Prioritizing Match.com is proving to be rather difficult.

However, I did come across a gentleman, and after having a ‘virtual connection’ we decided to meet up, and see if the connection would transcend the virtual realm and exist in ‘real life’.

The feller was a Torontonian, and being a Hamiltonian I was surprised that he was willing to go beyond a 5km radius and go as far as Burlington to meet me. For a Torontonian, that is basically the other end of the world.  So this

Australian, tall, dark, handsome, and did I mention Australian man was travelling to the other end of his world to have dinner with me.

We went to the waterfront had dinner and a pint.  It is funny how hiding behind a screen can give one such a false sense of security. The date was great, but the back and forth banter were not nearly as effortless as it had been via text.

Overall the date was lovely. He was a complete gentleman, but the spark, there was no spark.

It makes me wonder if I am searching for something that doesn’t exist? Or something that comes around once in a lifetime?

Can what  I am looking for really be found on Match.com?

Time will tell.

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3 thoughts on “Comm0011 – Match.com

  1. I 100% understand what you mean. For the last year I go through these moments of to online date or to not online date. I usually end up on some site for a few months. Usually filtering through emails, and not so appropriate comments, those are the ones that make me delete the account for the 500th time by this point. It’s funny how life has made it so hard to meet someone organically that we end up on a virtual power date essentially. And why is the conversation always so fantastic when you are behind a screen? I have yet to meet someone that it is completely up to par with from screen to face.

    I do believe that there is someone for everyone though. It will happen when you least expect it. I read this one day and I wholeheartedly believe it. Just something to think about. Happy hunting for your other half 🙂

    “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”
    ― Plato, The Symposium

  2. “It makes me wonder if I am searching for something that doesn’t exist? Or something that comes around once in a lifetime?”

    “Can what I am looking for really be found on Match.com?”

    Kingakunegunda, online dating is really touch and go when finding the love of your life or just a companion you want to be with. Yes, it is tedious to go through the motions when reading all the emails to see if the other person is compatible with you or not. In the end it boils down to how much time and effort you are willing to make to find someone. Online dating sites are not the only avenue, just a more convenient way to find someone as long as you click and have the same interests, etc. Besides, there are plenty of other dating sites so if Match.com does not work for you, try other ones, your true “match” may be found elsewhere. But social media has made it easier for one to find another in the long run.

  3. “Can what I am looking for really be found on Match.com?”

    That is a deep and profound question.

    I can only speak from personal experience, in which case I would say yes to a point. Let me set the table on what happened …

    A number of years ago, my wife and I went through a rather rough patch in our 25th year of marriage. She left to go over seas on a 6 month work placement, leaving me to look after the home and her worldly possessions, apart from the items in her suitcase. She accepted the work placement for two reasons, first, to obtain experience in a new career and, secondly, probably the most important reason, to put space between us.

    A few months before my wife left, i signed up on Match.com with a plain profile with no picture. Approximately 6 weeks before my wife left I made a connection with a woman south of Ottawa, Sally (not her real name) and we communicated back and forth, she quickly realized the I was still connected with my wife. I advised Sally when my wife would be leaving, we set up a date.
    My main reason for getting on Match.com was to find someone and not be lonely.

    A week after my wife parted, I met up wife Sally, 4 years my senior. It was a nervous first encounter, I stayed that night. This led to a summer romance while my wife was away. Even though Sally knew i was still in love with my wife, however, we hit it off in more ways than one and the “affair” helped both of us go through the summer. At the end of the summer, she left for a trip to France with her sister, so the romance ended, however, we maintained in contact via
    e-mail. In one of our last conversations before she left, she said “this has been the best summer I have had in 17 years when she left her husband John.

    After Sally left, I hooked up with Catherine, another Match.com connection, 14 years younger than me, again we hit it off very well and started doing couple things together for about 4 weeks we enjoyed each other company.

    With the imminent return of my wife a decision was fast approaching. I broke it off with Catherine, I barely heard from Sally while she was away.

    My wife returned, i explained what happened, she forgave me because she knew after three weeks away she had made a mistake, that she truly loved me and wanted to make amends.

    It took almost two full years of many animated, soul searching, heart wrenching conversations and a lot of crying, to finally come to a peaceful resolution and remain together. She has her side of the house and I have my side, our intimacy is better than ever and we get a good nights sleep. We say “I love you” to each everyday more than once.

    The two Match.com encounters/affairs … call it what you will … taught me a few things:
    1 – Yes you can meet someone through the online dating world and make a go of it.
    2 – Like any relationship there are compromises, no different than the ones i made with my wife.
    3 – Partnerships/relationships take time to grow and develop
    4 – The older you become the better you understand the gravity of 2 & 3
    5 – That my first wife was my true love.

    Finding someone takes effort, from my experience, the best ones are by chance moments.

    You may ask, if my wife had decided not to return, of the two Match.com women, Sally and Catherine, which one would I have gone back to? Probably Sally, older, wiser, a sense of humour and we got along, would it have lasted? I will never know.

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